[Which had been the main argument against shooting him in the face--before she'd seen more of the man, anyway. Now, she's not sure she can justify any choice but to try to change everything.
Speaking of which, she sidesteps his question in favour of glancing around the station. They're better off having this discussion with the veneer of privacy around it.]
[ -- well. not as bad as han expected, but certainly not good. and han is quiet for a moment before gently pulling her in the direction of a nearby cafe, with outdoor seating. ]
Come on, people'll leave us alone if they think we're eating.
[It's as good a disguise as any, and there's a table far enough on the edge of the cafe that they're unlikely to be disturbed.
As soon as she and Han are both sitting, she says it.]
I told him he tortured me. [It probably wasn't her best moment.] He...I don't know what he thought. I needed something that wasn't the whole story.
[Also probably not the best story she's ever told, for that matter. She's trying to process this for herself as well as Han, and her thoughts come more jumbled than usual.]
Edited (when you write something and then decide you want to write it a different way, except you already clicked post) Date: 2016-02-02 09:22 pm (UTC)
[ leia, he groans silently to himself, and han settles himself back into his chair, tipping it slightly as he watches her. listening, quiet. not disapproving, necessarily, but -- ]
Well, that's a hell of a big part of the whole story.
[ who the hell tortures their own kid unless they go dark side ]
Not Alderaan, though, or Luke's hand, or the carbonite, or everything he's done to the galaxy-- [Leia shakes her head.] I couldn't tell him who he becomes. If he wants to guess, he can put it together on his own.
[It's a concession to Luke--and, in truth, a bridge too far for her. The memory of Anakin's expression as he reached out towards her is something she won't forget easily.]
Nothing worse than glaring. [She falls quiet for a moment, tapping a finger lightly against the table.] He wanted to change things. What happened.
I'd want to change things too if I found out I tortured my daug --
[ but han stops, as a waitress wanders over, and han supplies her with some order of two drinks of some kind, waiting until she leaves again before speaking, refocusing his attention on leia. ]
... look, I'm not happy about the guy being here either, and if he happened to fall into a black hole tomorrow, I wouldn't shed a tear -- but he's not there yet. He's obviously gonna want to avoid the future if he knows what's coming. Who wouldn't?
[ han pauses before reaching over to grasp leia's hand, squeezing her fingers. ]
You're not in the lift anymore, Leia, take a breath.
[But she does take a breath, and another. What just happened still doesn't feel real to her.]
What I mean is--what if he could? This could be an opportunity, Han. Think of the heartache we could save the galaxy if Darth Vader never... [She squeezes his hand back, her expression no less grave.] What if that's why we're here?
Or we're here 'cause some lunatics kidnapped us and put us on a ship for some holo-drama 'cause we're entertaining.
[ it's said almost instantly, though his tone isn't harsh or criticizing. han wants to squash the idea that anything that happened in their world can be changed as quickly as it starts -- there's being cautiously optimistic, and then there's being uselessly hopeful. ]
If Vader didn't rise up, then we might've saved a couple of people. But how much would've changed? Empire would still be around, probably -- just with a different weapon. The Death Star still would've been built, and the rebellion still would've had to happen. Vader wasn't the only bad guy in the story, Leia.
[ and han knows that it's difficult for her to see it that way, considering how close the issue is to her, and he keeps his tone as gentle as possible, but it's still firm ]
Giving Anakin a chance here isn't gonna change what happened at home. It's done.
[Padme, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka--even Hera and Kanan--could all go home and make different choices. Who knows? They're learning things about the future, regardless of what anyone intended. If their presence in the Fleet has already changed the future, then why not try to move towards something specific? Why not use this inconvenience to their advantage?
Which is to say, Leia's not letting go of the idea this easily. She leans forward, expression sharp.]
The Empire would still exist, sure, but we could have Anakin on our side. Maybe he could convince General Kenobi not to go into hiding on Tatooine. Their presence could turn the tide in our favour more quickly--and that would mean saving more than just a couple of people.
[Going unsaid is the obvious: She and Luke might never have been separated. Anakin might have raised them. Leia can't bring herself to think about that part, how it would mean giving up the parents she did have and--possibly--the fact that she and Han met in the first place. This is larger than her life. They could change things for millions of people.]
[ except han isn't that selfless. all of that sounds great in theory, but what does that mean for him? he would probably still be in his old life, or dead, because jabba surely would've had his head by now. no one would've been there to rescue him, and surely he would've been removed entirely from the picture. han's presence in this story is entirely dependent on everything that had already happened, and the more that leia talks, the more his lips purse together, because she's either not thinking of that or is deliberately ignoring it.
there is no right answer to this that's going to satisfy leia. he could aimlessly agree, but she'll see right through it and know he's upset. he could argue, but that will make her angry. and he could dismiss her opinion, which will only upset her. ]
I don't know what you want me to tell you, Leia.
[ he says it, finally, and he lets go of her hand with a frown, to rearrange the napkin on the table. ]
We won our war, we shouldn't be going around to fight a different one.
[Leia pauses, looking at him with rapidly furrowing brows. This isn't a Han who's willing to hash out just about anything with her, through arguing if they have to. He's not ready to poke holes in her argument or--well, anything. He's just sitting there, pulling back from her in every way possible.
She pulls her hand back, too.]
I want you to tell me the truth.
[He's clearly thinking of something, even if he doesn't want to voice it. She has her guesses, all things she'd really prefer not to think about at the moment, but if those are the things weighing him down, then those are the things they have to talk about.]
[ as he draws in a breath and straightens himself up, analyzing out what he wants to say. ]
I'm with Luke -- changing the future's a bad idea. We're messing with something we don't understand, and what's happened already happened. And even if we could change it, what are we gonna lose in the process? You make Anakin a good guy that fights on the right side, fine -- but he's still gonna get kicked out of the Jedi Order for having you and Luke. What's gonna happen to him then? Or are we gonna go back and re-do everything, and change how the Jedi work? 'cause I don't have the first idea on how to do that.
It's not as simple as just making sure he doesn't go dark side -- we don't even know why he did, do we?
[ he pauses again, and he sighs. leia had wanted the truth, so -- ]
More than that, where is that going to leave me?
[ because the way han sees it, changing the story that dramatically effectively cuts him out of it. ]
Of course we're not going to redo everything. That's ridiculous. But if we tell them what's happened, and we warn them of everything we can think of. They've already heard plenty about what's to come--we're being irresponsible if we arm them with half-truths.
[This is what she wants, she tells herself. Her argument will be stronger for it, and together, they'll come up with the best plan of action possible. But his question stops her.]
...There's no reason you couldn't still join the rebellion.
[Even as she says it, she knows it's not true. Without Luke and Obi-Wan there to hire him, what would get Han off Tatooine? Who would convince him that working with the Alliance would be the best way to settle his debts? How would he decide that there were more important concerns than all that money he'd owed Jabba?
She feels a twinge in her chest. It would mean leaving Han to an unknown fate. They'd likely never meet; they'd certainly never fall in love.
When she opens her mouth again, her words are less certain.]
I can't just sit here and do nothing when he wants to change.
[ and he understands, really -- telling them would be the fair thing to do, and the nice thing to do, but -- ]
Why would I?
[ it's said shortly, bluntly -- because the only reason he had gotten mixed up in the rebellion at all was because of meeting luke, and obi-wan. and leia. there was no other reason for him to get involved, no other incentive. the very last thing han wanted to do was get involved with the rebellion, until he had reason to do so. ]
If he wants to change here, then that's fine, but I'm not picking his future over mine.
[It's the immediate, instinctive answer, despite the fact that she knows it's the wrong one. In this future, there's no one to drag him, kicking and screaming, into that realization, and without some catalyst, Han Solo's going to remain Han Solo.]
I'm not asking you to pick his future over yours. But if he goes home tomorrow and makes different choices, shouldn't we try to make sure they're better ones? There are more important things to consider than your life or mine.
[ it's said snippishly, and he doesn't mean to sound so frustrated, but -- it's the truth. just because it's the right thing to do doesn't mean han would've made that decision without luke and leia and obi-wan to guide him there. he needed them, in order to be coaxed into the fight. he doesn't have anyone else in his life to do that for him -- no family, no attachments, really, except his ship. that's it. ]
Telling him the future's not even a guarantee that he'd do as he asks. Just 'cause he's saying the right thing now doesn't mean he'll go back and make the right decisions where it counts -- and tossing him back into the fray with all the knowledge in the world might give me a quick ticket to getting my head removed by Jabba the Hutt.
Of course not. That would mean no one had to push you into it.
[Which is the wrong thing to say, and she knows it the moment it leaves her mouth. But it's too late to swallow the words back.]
Jabba's not going to kill you. [Except that she really can't promise that. Leia presses onwards.] And what's the alternative, anyway? Sit here and hope that he doesn't make things worse with what he already knows?
That I would've joined up without meeting you, or Luke? That I would've risked my life without you two? 'cause we both know that's a lie. And there's no damn guarantee that he'd do anything different with the knowledge we're not giving him, but if you want to go ahead and tell him -- and everybody else -- that the Jedi's so-called chosen one goes off the deep end while we're trapped on some fishbowl, then be my guest.
[That she doesn't like it is evident--and really not good enough reason for an argument, frankly, considering that she knew at least some of it already. This isn't Leia's finest hour, but it's also been a rough day.
She pushes back her chair and stands, looking down at him with narrowed eyes.]
So I think we're done here.
[Storming off feels incredibly satisfying, especially after the way she left her father at his order.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2016-02-02 07:34 pm (UTC)[Which had been the main argument against shooting him in the face--before she'd seen more of the man, anyway. Now, she's not sure she can justify any choice but to try to change everything.
Speaking of which, she sidesteps his question in favour of glancing around the station. They're better off having this discussion with the veneer of privacy around it.]
Let's find somewhere to sit down.
no subject
Date: 2016-02-02 07:49 pm (UTC)Come on, people'll leave us alone if they think we're eating.
no subject
Date: 2016-02-02 09:17 pm (UTC)As soon as she and Han are both sitting, she says it.]
I told him he tortured me. [It probably wasn't her best moment.] He...I don't know what he thought. I needed something that wasn't the whole story.
[Also probably not the best story she's ever told, for that matter. She's trying to process this for herself as well as Han, and her thoughts come more jumbled than usual.]
no subject
Date: 2016-02-06 03:38 am (UTC)Well, that's a hell of a big part of the whole story.
[ who the hell tortures their own kid unless they go dark side ]
He didn't hurt you, though?
no subject
Date: 2016-02-06 05:46 pm (UTC)Not Alderaan, though, or Luke's hand, or the carbonite, or everything he's done to the galaxy-- [Leia shakes her head.] I couldn't tell him who he becomes. If he wants to guess, he can put it together on his own.
[It's a concession to Luke--and, in truth, a bridge too far for her. The memory of Anakin's expression as he reached out towards her is something she won't forget easily.]
Nothing worse than glaring. [She falls quiet for a moment, tapping a finger lightly against the table.] He wanted to change things. What happened.
no subject
Date: 2016-02-07 07:04 am (UTC)[ but han stops, as a waitress wanders over, and han supplies her with some order of two drinks of some kind, waiting until she leaves again before speaking, refocusing his attention on leia. ]
... look, I'm not happy about the guy being here either, and if he happened to fall into a black hole tomorrow, I wouldn't shed a tear -- but he's not there yet. He's obviously gonna want to avoid the future if he knows what's coming. Who wouldn't?
[ han pauses before reaching over to grasp leia's hand, squeezing her fingers. ]
You're not in the lift anymore, Leia, take a breath.
[ it's said quietly, but gently ]
no subject
Date: 2016-02-07 07:26 pm (UTC)[But she does take a breath, and another. What just happened still doesn't feel real to her.]
What I mean is--what if he could? This could be an opportunity, Han. Think of the heartache we could save the galaxy if Darth Vader never... [She squeezes his hand back, her expression no less grave.] What if that's why we're here?
no subject
Date: 2016-02-08 10:27 pm (UTC)[ it's said almost instantly, though his tone isn't harsh or criticizing. han wants to squash the idea that anything that happened in their world can be changed as quickly as it starts -- there's being cautiously optimistic, and then there's being uselessly hopeful. ]
If Vader didn't rise up, then we might've saved a couple of people. But how much would've changed? Empire would still be around, probably -- just with a different weapon. The Death Star still would've been built, and the rebellion still would've had to happen. Vader wasn't the only bad guy in the story, Leia.
[ and han knows that it's difficult for her to see it that way, considering how close the issue is to her, and he keeps his tone as gentle as possible, but it's still firm ]
Giving Anakin a chance here isn't gonna change what happened at home. It's done.
no subject
Date: 2016-02-08 10:45 pm (UTC)[Padme, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka--even Hera and Kanan--could all go home and make different choices. Who knows? They're learning things about the future, regardless of what anyone intended. If their presence in the Fleet has already changed the future, then why not try to move towards something specific? Why not use this inconvenience to their advantage?
Which is to say, Leia's not letting go of the idea this easily. She leans forward, expression sharp.]
The Empire would still exist, sure, but we could have Anakin on our side. Maybe he could convince General Kenobi not to go into hiding on Tatooine. Their presence could turn the tide in our favour more quickly--and that would mean saving more than just a couple of people.
[Going unsaid is the obvious: She and Luke might never have been separated. Anakin might have raised them. Leia can't bring herself to think about that part, how it would mean giving up the parents she did have and--possibly--the fact that she and Han met in the first place. This is larger than her life. They could change things for millions of people.]
no subject
Date: 2016-02-08 10:53 pm (UTC)there is no right answer to this that's going to satisfy leia. he could aimlessly agree, but she'll see right through it and know he's upset. he could argue, but that will make her angry. and he could dismiss her opinion, which will only upset her. ]
I don't know what you want me to tell you, Leia.
[ he says it, finally, and he lets go of her hand with a frown, to rearrange the napkin on the table. ]
We won our war, we shouldn't be going around to fight a different one.
no subject
Date: 2016-02-08 11:03 pm (UTC)She pulls her hand back, too.]
I want you to tell me the truth.
[He's clearly thinking of something, even if he doesn't want to voice it. She has her guesses, all things she'd really prefer not to think about at the moment, but if those are the things weighing him down, then those are the things they have to talk about.]
Whatever it is.
no subject
Date: 2016-02-08 11:21 pm (UTC)... alright, fine.
[ as he draws in a breath and straightens himself up, analyzing out what he wants to say. ]
I'm with Luke -- changing the future's a bad idea. We're messing with something we don't understand, and what's happened already happened. And even if we could change it, what are we gonna lose in the process? You make Anakin a good guy that fights on the right side, fine -- but he's still gonna get kicked out of the Jedi Order for having you and Luke. What's gonna happen to him then? Or are we gonna go back and re-do everything, and change how the Jedi work? 'cause I don't have the first idea on how to do that.
It's not as simple as just making sure he doesn't go dark side -- we don't even know why he did, do we?
[ he pauses again, and he sighs. leia had wanted the truth, so -- ]
More than that, where is that going to leave me?
[ because the way han sees it, changing the story that dramatically effectively cuts him out of it. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-02-09 12:16 am (UTC)[This is what she wants, she tells herself. Her argument will be stronger for it, and together, they'll come up with the best plan of action possible. But his question stops her.]
...There's no reason you couldn't still join the rebellion.
[Even as she says it, she knows it's not true. Without Luke and Obi-Wan there to hire him, what would get Han off Tatooine? Who would convince him that working with the Alliance would be the best way to settle his debts? How would he decide that there were more important concerns than all that money he'd owed Jabba?
She feels a twinge in her chest. It would mean leaving Han to an unknown fate. They'd likely never meet; they'd certainly never fall in love.
When she opens her mouth again, her words are less certain.]
I can't just sit here and do nothing when he wants to change.
no subject
Date: 2016-02-09 12:38 am (UTC)Why would I?
[ it's said shortly, bluntly -- because the only reason he had gotten mixed up in the rebellion at all was because of meeting luke, and obi-wan. and leia. there was no other reason for him to get involved, no other incentive. the very last thing han wanted to do was get involved with the rebellion, until he had reason to do so. ]
If he wants to change here, then that's fine, but I'm not picking his future over mine.
no subject
Date: 2016-02-09 12:51 am (UTC)[It's the immediate, instinctive answer, despite the fact that she knows it's the wrong one. In this future, there's no one to drag him, kicking and screaming, into that realization, and without some catalyst, Han Solo's going to remain Han Solo.]
I'm not asking you to pick his future over yours. But if he goes home tomorrow and makes different choices, shouldn't we try to make sure they're better ones? There are more important things to consider than your life or mine.
no subject
Date: 2016-02-09 03:23 am (UTC)[ it's said snippishly, and he doesn't mean to sound so frustrated, but -- it's the truth. just because it's the right thing to do doesn't mean han would've made that decision without luke and leia and obi-wan to guide him there. he needed them, in order to be coaxed into the fight. he doesn't have anyone else in his life to do that for him -- no family, no attachments, really, except his ship. that's it. ]
Telling him the future's not even a guarantee that he'd do as he asks. Just 'cause he's saying the right thing now doesn't mean he'll go back and make the right decisions where it counts -- and tossing him back into the fray with all the knowledge in the world might give me a quick ticket to getting my head removed by Jabba the Hutt.
no subject
Date: 2016-02-09 10:48 pm (UTC)[Which is the wrong thing to say, and she knows it the moment it leaves her mouth. But it's too late to swallow the words back.]
Jabba's not going to kill you. [Except that she really can't promise that. Leia presses onwards.] And what's the alternative, anyway? Sit here and hope that he doesn't make things worse with what he already knows?
no subject
Date: 2016-02-12 02:22 am (UTC)[ and, finally, a frustrated hiss ]
That I would've joined up without meeting you, or Luke? That I would've risked my life without you two? 'cause we both know that's a lie. And there's no damn guarantee that he'd do anything different with the knowledge we're not giving him, but if you want to go ahead and tell him -- and everybody else -- that the Jedi's so-called chosen one goes off the deep end while we're trapped on some fishbowl, then be my guest.
no subject
Date: 2016-02-12 03:43 am (UTC)[That she doesn't like it is evident--and really not good enough reason for an argument, frankly, considering that she knew at least some of it already. This isn't Leia's finest hour, but it's also been a rough day.
She pushes back her chair and stands, looking down at him with narrowed eyes.]
So I think we're done here.
[Storming off feels incredibly satisfying, especially after the way she left her father at his order.
She'll regret all of this later.]